United Condoms of Benedetton

When this so-called Pope announced that using a condom in certain, very limited situations might be the moral thing to do, I knew that something was amiss. Obviously, the enemies of the Church have kidnapped the real Benedict XVI and have replaced him with a cleverly-disguised impostor. WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING HIM, YOU FIENDS!

In light of this development, I have raised the BroLo faith-terror alert level to "Double layer aluminum hat" (or, for people with funny accents, "Double layer aluminium hat").

Remember, you heard it here first.