Soliloquy in an International Cloister

Watch your step as Brother Lawrence takes you inside the monastery walls of a five hundred year-old international order. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you had ignored your hormones and joined the monastery.

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Location: Rome, Italy

19 May 2006

The Empire Strikes Out

I regret to inform you that plans for the new Holy Roman Empire have been scrapped. Discussions broke down after I helpfully pointed out that the others were too stupid to run an empire. After I proclaimed myself emperor, one of the brothers volunteered to design my coat of arms, an offer which I graciously accepted. He returned with the following blazon:

Per pale sable and or, sinister a back on knife impaled argent, dexter south end of a horse passant north sable.

I, of course, ordered his immediate execution. For the sake of good order and the good of the citizenry, such mockery should not be tolerated. The discussions then descended into fisticuffs, at which point all plans were abandoned.

You will be even more upset when you learn that you were included in my plans. I had set aside important posts among my scullery staff for my faithful readers.


Anonymous The Empress Heather said...

I'd have been happy to have had some sort of Empress role - I feel I'm well suited to that sort of thing.

19 May, 2006 17:58  
Anonymous Moobs said...

Monk fight! I'm sure I saw that on ESPN.

22 May, 2006 10:31  
Anonymous pog said...

Damn - and I might be looking for a new job soon, too ...
Scullery - is that something to do with rowing?

22 May, 2006 14:55  
Blogger Br. Lawrence said...

I'll keep that in mind, H, in case we ever get this sorted out. Mind you, you'll have to work your way up from concubine.

Damned if I know what a scullery is, Pog. I assumed it had something to do with skeletons.

22 May, 2006 20:35  

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