Soliloquy in an International Cloister

Watch your step as Brother Lawrence takes you inside the monastery walls of a five hundred year-old international order. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you had ignored your hormones and joined the monastery.

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Location: Rome, Italy

28 February 2007

A bad day

My day began on a bad note, thanks to yesterday evening.

The evening started out well. A group of brothers and their co-workers from various provinces in North America were in Denver to attend a meeting hosted by my province. There is a long-standing custom of taking the participants in these meetings to a restaurant that showcases the local culture or cuisine. We took them to the Buckhorn Exchange, the oldest restaurant in Denver. The menu consists of things like Rattlesnake, Elk, Buffalo, Quail, Rocky Mountain Oysters (don't ask) and other wild game, along with your more typical steak offerings. The walls of the restaurant are festooned with mounted heads of large beasts, stuffed birds, lots of memorabilia from "Buffalo Bill" Cody (in whose Wild West shows the founder of the restaurant once worked) and pictures of the famous people who had eaten there. Definitely not the place to take your animal rights activist friends.

The evening went well, and I was pleasantly surprised at how adventurous the group was in their food choices. At the end of the meal, as we were walking towards the door, we were gawking at some of the odder wall decorations, such as the two-headed lamb. I was baffled by a seven-foot long tapered tube hanging from the ceiling. Noticing my puzzled expression, a waiter volunteered that it was the penis of a sperm whale! I wonder where they found one of those around here!

I recalled this incident as I looked at myself in the mirror this morning, which has caused me to suffer from an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. Just what I needed today, a bad case of penis envy!


Blogger heartinsanfrancisco said...

You would need some custom-tailored vestments for sure.

They should call that place The Roadkill Cafe.

01 March, 2007 06:50  
Anonymous pog said...

You'd need more than custom-tailoring, BroLo. Stilts might be a start to stop you tripping over too much.
And what are 'Rocky Mountain Oysters'? You know you want to tell me.

01 March, 2007 12:52  
Blogger BroLo said...

Okay, Pog, I'll give you a hint.

In Spain, they are known as cojones del toro.
In Italy, they are called coglioni del toro.

01 March, 2007 17:24  
Anonymous pog said...

What a load of bullocks. I said bullocks.

02 March, 2007 16:37  
Blogger Stinkypaw said...

All men are the same, aren't they wearing a robe or not...

02 March, 2007 19:03  
Blogger Open Grove Claudia said...

Are you planning eating krill and gaining 54 ft in height? It is true that if you were a sperm whale you would have a book written about you but....

04 March, 2007 20:32  

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