Soliloquy in an International Cloister

Watch your step as Brother Lawrence takes you inside the monastery walls of a five hundred year-old international order. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you had ignored your hormones and joined the monastery.

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Location: Rome, Italy

26 May 2006

O Death, where is thy calendar?

Why is it that people insist on dying when I am up to my eyeballs in work? And don't tell me that they were too preoccupied with being sick or comatose to notice that I was busy. That's hardly an excuse. Two people with whom I had a tenuous connection had funerals this week. Most people, I suspect, would not give a second thought to missing the funerals of such tenuously connected people. But I am not one of those. When you put on these robes, people expect you to attend such funerals, which rather annoys me at times. The fact that they would certainly attend my funeral if the tables were turned only slightly mitigates the annoyance. I don't wish to sound petulant, but these funerals are taking a bite out of my free time. Please, people, if you want me at your funeral, couldn't you at least die at a more convenient time?!

5 Comments:

Anonymous Moobs said...

What is really called for is a good plague. This clusters the deths so that they don't spread inconveniently throughout the week and the ceremony is reduced to having the body packed in lime and tossed into a big pit.

26 May, 2006 08:23  
Anonymous pog said...

Or perhaps you could consider a little judicious poisoning to make things more convenient? I understand the Borgia popes found this quite useful.

26 May, 2006 12:24  
Blogger kim said...

How terribly rude of them! People can be so incredibly self involved some times. I hope your weekend is uneventful and reflective? Im not sure what to wish for you to tell the truth? Cloister domination?

26 May, 2006 15:08  
Blogger Br. Lawrence said...

You said it, Moobs! Besides, the clergy gets way more respect during a plague. Just read Manzoni's I Promessi Sposi--it'll bring a tear to your eye.

As for poisoning, not even the Borgia could get away with it all the time. With today's improved forensic science, I'm afraid it's off the table, Pog. In this day and age, we must rely on a vengeful God for our deaths. Or a Republican government.

Hmm, cloister domination. Sounds a little too much like S&M, Kim. Not into that, but thanks for thinking of me. I took a peek at your blog. Mother of hundreds? Please explain. BTW, best piece of writing on the subject of vomit that I've seen in a long time.

27 May, 2006 00:02  
Blogger kim said...

lol i was thinking more of your quest to be the leader and how your plan was thwarted, s&m is just so much work, anddd you have to buy all those accesories :)
i actually had 5 children myself but it seems i adopt more on a regular basis? im just the mothering type i guess ...and thanks for the vote on vomit and thanks for stopping by

03 June, 2006 15:30  

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