Soliloquy in an International Cloister

Watch your step as Brother Lawrence takes you inside the monastery walls of a five hundred year-old international order. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wish you had ignored your hormones and joined the monastery.

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Location: Rome, Italy

04 June 2006

A brother's confession

His voyeurism unsatisfied by the few responses to his questionnaire, Moobs tagged me in his tell-all scheme. This is clearly backwards—it is I who should be on the receiving end of the confession. To show you just how tremendously humble I am, however, I have decided to accept his challenge.

1. I have had this experience, but not lately so I cannot remember what my comeback was. It's not like I memorize them for future use. I will substitute the best anonymous insult I ever received. In a full parking garage at Rome's airport, I had to park the car askew because of the way the car beside my space was parked. While I was away, the offending car left, making it look as if I had capriciously taken two parking spaces. When I returned to my car, this was the note on my windshield: "If you make love like you park, it's no wonder that your wife cheats on you." It sounded better in Italian.

2. No. My mother was an obsessive cleaner so I knew better than to hide anything there.

3. A year?! No. That's why we have confession.

4. I kept the fact that I was considering joining a religious order a secret from my mother for over two years. She eventually learned of it from one of my high school teachers.

5. Yes. When I was in high school, there was a girl I met one summer when she came to stay with her relatives for a few weeks. I was really shy in those days, but felt really comfortable around her. She's now married to a rocket scientist and has five children, whom she home schools. We are still very good friends.

6. I've only written one poem in my life, that I can recall anyway. It starts:
"Twenty years of training..."

3 Comments:

Anonymous Bobble said...

Having been in that self same car park two weeks ago I cann attest to the state of parking skill one needs. Sadly I was not worthy of a note.

04 June, 2006 11:57  
Blogger Br. Lawrence said...

Let me know the next time you are going there. Maybe I can arrange for someone to leave you a note, appropriately modified, of course.

04 June, 2006 15:51  
Anonymous pog said...

'and there it was, still raining ..'?

09 June, 2006 12:32  

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